Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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