Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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