Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
