yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
