I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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