I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
