physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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