i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
