From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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