the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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