if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
