And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This house was built for laser tag.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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