Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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