good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
