i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think my moral compass just broke
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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