i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
