So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
