he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
