I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
