She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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