Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
