break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
