I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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