I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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