if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he thought i was a dude.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
