you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize