Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
