the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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