Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
