if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
