Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
