Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thank you for not boning my boss.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
