Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
