I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
