I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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