i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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