Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
