I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
