In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
