I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sext me about skeletons
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
