Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
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I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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