There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize