i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
