You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you still have your period?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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