I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
