Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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