we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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