Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
