i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
is that a dick in a sweater?
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