the day after is always just damage control
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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