if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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