Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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