She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
