I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
