do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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