I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
