I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
