Whod you bang
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
