one might say we're banned from that church
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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