I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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