I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
