She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
