Apparently you make a good broom.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
