I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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