Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
